Trudging heart, empty soul and emotions that anchor you in places you never want to be. Fighting for what you believe in and fighting against people who fight against the notion. Exhaustion & expression are no longer welcomed in this city. Somewhere along the way, you learn that you hurt because you care. The simple answer is to not care. Do not involve your heart in matters, they complicate things.
"The policeman who shot down a 10-year-old in Queens
stood over the boy with his cop shoes in childish blood
and a voice said “Die you little motherfucker” and
there are tapes to prove that. At his trial
this policeman and in his own defense
“I didn’t notice the size or nothing else
only the color.” and
there are tapes to prove that, too.
Today that 37-year-old white man with 13 years of police forcing
has been set free
by 11 white men who said they were satisfied
justice had been done
and one black woman who said
“They convinced me” meaning
they had dragged her 4’10” black woman’s frame
over the hot coals of four centuries of white male approval
until she let go the first real power she ever had
and lined her own womb with cement
to make a graveyard for our children."
- Audre Lorde “Power” (via femignome)
The surge of motivation you get when you finally understand. And you realise that there is light at the end of the tunnel that is not from a train coming from the other end. And that it will be better, and i will be ok.